Inside Out
by carrotop24
Summary: Short songfic. Tristan reflects on his relationship with Rory while he's at military school. my summery stinks, pleae rr!


a/n: Just a short little songfic about tristan at military school.  
  
the song is a Justin Timberlake song (give the story a chance even  
  
if u hate him please!) i think its called "still on my brain" or   
  
something like that. r/r!  
  
***  
  
disclaimer: i don't own tristan or justin (god help me if i did!)  
  
so don't sue me!  
  
***  
  
"The beautiful days are long gone  
  
  
  
I can't seem to breathe  
  
  
  
It feels like it hasn't been that long  
  
  
  
Since you walked away from me."  
  
  
  
Tristan lied down on his bunk, his thoughts once again   
  
consumed by Rory Gilmore. His Mary. God he missed her. She used to light  
  
up his world. And Tristan could definitely use some light in his   
  
dismal military school life.  
  
He had been there for three months, three long, tedious months  
  
that kept leading him farther away from Rory. But despite the amount  
  
of time that had passed since he had seen her, Tristan's mind could  
  
never erase the picture of her lovely eyes filled with pain when he  
  
said goodbye to her.  
  
"Now, I can try to act real strong  
  
But you and I both know   
  
I still think of you that way."  
  
  
  
Tristan rolled over, trying to get comfortable on his flimsy  
  
cot. He closed his eyes, exhausted from his physically demanding day,  
  
but he knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep for hours. When he  
  
would, he knew his dreams would be haunted by Rory's piercing blue  
  
eyes.  
  
  
  
He knew Rory was aware of his feelings for her. Now Tristan  
  
wondered if she thought about him even half as often as he thought of  
  
her.  
  
  
  
"And you should know that  
  
  
  
The beautiful lights  
  
The star filled nights  
  
Still don't mean a thing  
  
Cause you are my star,   
  
So it don't seem right  
  
Without you here with me."  
  
Tristan's roommate got out of bed to open the window, allowing  
  
the cool breeze to come in. Tristan's gaze shifted to the window, taking  
  
in the stars.  
  
  
  
North Carolina was beautiful, he had to admit that. His military  
  
school was located in a secluded woods, far away from society and the   
  
noise of busy city life.  
  
  
  
When Tristan went on a walk one day, he had found a small   
  
clearing with lush green grass and a small brook. Tristan found himself  
  
imagining sharing the spot with Rory. They would have a picnic, watching  
  
the sunset, and then he could hold her in his arms while they took in  
  
the beauty of the stars.  
  
He turned away from the window, knowing all his hopes of having  
  
a picnic with Rory were ridiculous.  
  
"Now I can try and act real strong,  
  
But you and I both know its hard for me to say  
  
You were my soul."  
  
Tristan had loved Rory since the second he saw her his sophomore  
  
year at Chilton. Even though he teased her and called her "Mary" he   
  
had always known she was the girl for him.  
  
So he lived for their little banter sessions at her locker,   
  
even though most of the time she was mad at him. It made no difference  
  
to him, she kept him in line.  
  
  
  
"When you're in love it takes time to heal  
  
When someone's broken your heart it changes  
  
how you feel.  
  
Girl I thought you'd never do me that way,  
  
But after all, I still think of you that way."  
  
Tristan had decided to work hard to deserve Rory. He did his  
  
best to stay out of trouble and get good grades.  
  
But the week that he spent rehearsing for Romeo and Juliet in  
  
Stars Hollow, he snapped. He couldn't handle chasing after Rory any longer  
  
when all she did was chase after Dean. God Tristan hated that guy. Dean  
  
followed Rory around like a stalker and acted like a caveman when anyone  
  
came within a twenty foot radius of her. And Rory was "in love with him."  
  
She was determined to make their relationship work and keep him blind  
  
from the truth, that Tristan loved her and there was a small part of her  
  
that loved him back.  
  
So the frustration built up that week, and Tristan hit rock  
  
bottom the day of the play, breaking into that damn safe.  
  
"Now, love is a game  
  
That we both like to play  
  
Will I win or lose if I move or stay?  
  
Even though I try to hide my broken heart  
  
inside,  
  
Girl you know me inside out  
  
And I can't get you off my mind."  
  
Tristan's mind wandered back a year to Madeline's party. That  
  
whole evening seemed like some twisted game Cupid was playing with their  
  
hearts.  
  
Rory had just broken up with Dean the night before, and Tristan  
  
and Summer had just called it quits. And there they were, together,  
  
holding pleasant conversation at the piano. And then they were kissing.  
  
And then she was running. Before he knew it, Rory was back with Dean, and  
  
Tristan had lost his only opportunity to have Mary as his own.  
  
"I could say that I don't love you  
  
no more.  
  
And I could say that I've closed   
  
the door  
  
On love.  
  
And I could tell you I feel its time  
  
for us   
  
To go our separate ways  
  
But Baby I just wouldn't be the same,  
  
'Cause girl your love is, still on my brain."  
  
Tristan let out a sigh. He knew that he should get over it,  
  
he should let Rory go. But he also knew Rory was something he worked  
  
for. She was a reason to get out of bed in the morning and face the  
  
horrible day. She would give him a reason to get out of here.  
  
"Tristan, you awake?" his roommate Kevin asked.  
  
"Yah."  
  
"I forgot to tell you, you got a letter today," Kevin said,  
  
turning on a light and getting out of bed. He crossed the room to   
  
the desk, and sorted through an array of papers until he found the  
  
envelope. He tossed it to Tristan.  
  
Tristan held the envelope in his hand, flipping on the light  
  
closest to him to see it better.  
  
It was addressed in a feminine script. He flipped the letter  
  
over, looking for a return address. When he located it, his heart stopped.  
  
  
  
The letter he was holding had the power to change his life.  
  
Forever.  
  
***  
  
a/n: please review! 


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